Gash

When Itchy's mate Dave discovered this über-classy online erotic emporium, stocking lingerie, cosmetics, books, lotions, and lady-pleasing toys including the 'Tongue Joy', he declared, 'That's just like the rhyming kitchen product; Gash - loves the jobs you hate'. This revealed both his dire bedroom prowess and an acute lack of grease-busting knowledge - that's Mr Muscle, not Flash, twazzock. When he's finished with the sink, we've got his girlie some personalised pants to help him patch things up, with a photo of his mug and the words 'Dave, come on down'. Our own deluxe satin pair look stunning, but maybe having them embroidered with 'Itchy' wasn't such a good idea.

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