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Frankie and Benny's

Who the hell are Franky and Benny? This couple of jokers have set up shop across the UK, with their depressingly formulaic range of burger bars with a 'twist' – they do pasta too! You're just a crazy cat Frankie. And who's idea was it to pipe 50's crooners and Motown at disco volume to draw in punters? I bet it was Benny, the cheeky little monkey. The highlight of my visit was the teach yourself Italian audio–cassette being played in the toilets, though it didn't teach me to say "Can I move my seat to another restaurant?".

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