Rainforest Café

Let's get one thing straight; the food's great for a theme restaurant and kids will absolutely love it. However, your waitress was built in a lab to enjoy being dressed as a park ranger and will never, ever, break into a frown. Ours was called 'Hi, I'm Siobhan' and repeatedly bounced over to ask 'How are things going guys?'. Self aware enough to meet our mid–serious debate with a brisk 'Bet you'd rather I just went away and left you alone wouldn't you?' Not self aware enough to actually do it. Still, with animal soundtracks and a trickling waterfall this isn't really the place for being serious. It's a place to rediscover your childish side and order massive cream laden desserts. And you can't nick the ashtrays because it's no smoking.

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