Itchy Brighton article

Cafes uncovered

The best and quickest cafes around Brighton

Picture your boss with too much time on his hands, pointedly watching the minutes tick by on his dated timepiece of a watch. Envision him thoughtfully combing those overlong and proudly grown greasy strands of hair across his otherwise balding head.

Then imagine him shuffling those long out of date papers around his desk as he wonders whether he can dock your pay, if you’re a minute late back from your lunch break.

Situations like this could feasibly reach crisis levels, as you watch the waitress flirt for the umpteenth time, and you desperately try to catch her eye to ask for the bill.

What you need is a quick sarnie, a fast glug of juice, and an irreplaceable sense of satisfaction as you watch the smug old coot’s face fall, as you waft back into the office with twenty minutes to spare.

We’ve done the hard work for you:

Barker
10 Dukes Lane (01273) 325945
A chic café that loves their dogs – Barbara Woodhouse would be proud. Opt for the takeaway option (“walkies”). Make sure you phone ahead and they’ll have your order waiting for you, leaving you a vital couple of minutes for that compulsory lunchtime window-shopping session. What’s the point of working, if you can’t spend your pay packet before you even get it?

Red Roaster
1d St. James’ Street (01273) 686668
It’s half way through the day, deadlines are looming, and your boss has been hovering around your desk doing a passable impression of a bulldog that’s just swallowed a wasp. What you need is a serious caffeine injection. Do it in style here with a vast array of coffee variations to choose from, and some decent sandwiches to boot.

Off Beat Café
Sydney Street (01273) 604206
If you work around the North Laines, this is a welcome addition to your otherwise stressful day. Fifties styled, the all-round quirkiness of this café are enough to take your mind off work, at least for the five minutes it takes you to pick up your sandwich with a smile.

Nia Cafe
87-88 Trafalgar Street (01273) 671371
With its rustic theme, it’s like that cottage you’d love to buy in Tuscany, if only your boss would give you that promotion you’ve been angling for since you joined the company. It’s generally eat in so try and take your lunch break early, and if you smile sweetly and feign crippling hunger pangs, they’ll sort you out with a sandwich to go.

Starbucks
210 Western Road (01273) 324097
18-19 Market Street (01273) 328157
There’s two to choose from, to the delight of all busy souls, who just want to grab a bite to eat, rather than engage in a conversation about the merits of not smoking. Yes, you’ve got it, it’s an American chain, so all us unhealthy Brits have to ‘stub it out, and shut up’. Or you can just take it away and save yourself some cash in the process. Who’s the sucker, now?

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Comments

Simply the very best coffee I have found in town; it just also happens to have the most smashing views and a great atmosphere. Grub is not at all bad - brilliant cheese on toast and often fresh croissants, too.
- Marc Adrian Simon from Louis Beach Cafe on 31/03/2007 -

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