How to be Bond in London

James Bond Quantum of solace edinburgh daniel craig

They've popped out another one: a glamorous fest of fast cars, guns and girls. And who are we at Itchy to resist the gritty charms of the latest Bond?

We love it and we want to live it.

Perhaps if we model ourselves on Bond, we'll automatically be swept into the world of international espionage.

It's worth a try, and easy when Gentlemen's Tonic, the high-glass Mayfair men's spa is around to smooth our bristly chops and give us a sleek, bullet-proof hair-do.

For our lady side-kicks, there's The Sanctuary ladies-only spa where they can pamper themselves with facials, massages and all sorts, ready to don their pistols and kick some butt.

We look fantastic, but where are we going to be noticed by the secret spy recruiters?

After hanging around outside MI6 in Vauxhall for a while looking English and camp, the only attention we've managed to attract has been that of the suave, gay smokers outside The Royal Vauxhall Tavern.

But we're going for a Craig, not a Dalton look, so we need a swanky champagne bar. The lofty heights of Vertigo 42 should be more than adequate, but, if you think you may need to make a speedy exit to the continent, the champagne bar at St Pancras is another prime espionage spot.

So far, so good, but we can't help but feel our Bond look is lacking a little oomph - we need to introduce the dark side of high-crime's hairy, nippley underbelly.

To introduce some vice we head to a casino - the Golden Horseshoe in Bayswater is 29 tables of tense, big-money gamblers and glam croupiers in slinky dresses.

After winning one too many games of blackjack, it's not long before we're taken out to the back room for a little 'talk' with the management. But fear not, we're one step ahead and we've been honing our tuxedo-bound muscles for months at Mile End Climbing Wall and practising our high kicks and grapple holds at Covent Garden's Gymbox.

It's not long before the baddies are groaning, besuited heaps on the floor and we're smashing face-first through sheet glass while the entire casino explodes spectacularly (if inexplicably) behind us.

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